Recently, I have been thinking a lot about what my life would be like with no children. I like to believe that it is normal for parents to think about this every once in a while, but I have been pondering the fantasy a little more often than I am comfortable with. I thought maybe writing a list of all the things I like about having kids would help remind me that my life is pretty incredible as it is, and help me stop thinking about what might have been. I know why I love my children each as individuals and why they are so special and important to me, but why do I like being a parent in general? Do I like the lifestyle we chose? Or, do I just love my kids, and tolerate the lifestyle?
Here it is-- my positivity-filled list of flowery love and kisses on a soft pillow of clouds, full of all the wonders and joys of parenthood. Try not to vomit until you finish the whole thing.
1. My kids love me ALL THE TIME, even when they hate me. I know this may change when they are teenagers, but so far, so good.
2. I am never ever ever ever ever ever bored. Ever. Ever.
3. Children make excellent excuses for taking vacations places like the Great Wolf Lodge and Disneyland.
4. My children have taught me how to have wild, silly fun like I haven't had since I was a child myself. They force me to use my imagination, which I am pretty sure I forgot how to use when I was about thirteen.
5. Having kids has forced me to remember things about my childhood that I would not otherwise think about, which in turn helps me to understand my parents (and myself) better.
6. I eat healthier because they are around. Sometimes this works in reverse, though (mainly because of the need for drive-thrus).
7. Here's one that might be too much information, but I'll go for it anyway. Because having kids makes having sex much more complicated, my dear husband and I have to talk about our sex life a lot more often to make sure that "it" actually happens. All this discussing and planning has actually improved our sex life significantly, in ways I will save for a different blog post (just kidding, dear). We have traded spontaneity for quality.
8. Teaching the kids to do things that we did when we were kids is REALLY fun. When they like what we show them, it is almost like I am discovering the book/game/movie, etc., all over again.
9. When my kids are all asleep in their beds, in addition to the relief I feel that we all survived another day together, I feel a sense of satisfaction that is difficult to put into words. The closest I can get to it is describing how I felt after I finished my "Info Hell" 100-page research paper for my Journalism major in college. I spent three months researching, writing and editing that thing, and when I finally turned it in to my professor, I was so fricking proud of myself, I brought Bryce with me to take a picture of the hand-off. I feel that same pride EVERY NIGHT when I think of how awesome my kids are. Even after bad days (and we have plenty of those, hence the fantasizing about a childless life), I still see how cool those kids all are, and I know that I get a whole bunch of the credit for their awesomeness. Each night, I feel that I have fulfilled a purpose of great importance that day, even if all I did was wipe noses, chauffeur kids, break-up fights and make unappreciated food. No other assignment, job, task, or "calling" can deliver that kind of consistent physical, emotional, and psychological satisfaction day after day.
Well, I feel much better now! I will probably never stop thinking about that proverbial green grass on the other side, but at least now I have this list I can look at to remind me that my side of the fence has its own benefits. I cannot say whether or not the lifestyle of "suburban parent of three" has lived up to my expectations, because I cannot remember what ANY of those expectations were. They were probably all unrealistic and dreamy, anyway. What I can say definitively is that, if given the chance, I would choose this life, this husband, and these kids, every time, with no hesitation.
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