the birthologist

Isadora's Birth, Part 1.

I set out to write Isadora's birth story a couple of days ago.  Countless hours and four pages later, I am still not finished!  Trying to remember all of the details of her birth, physical, emotional and otherwise, has been not only cleansing, but really fun, and I don't want to rush the process.  I highly recommend all new mothers try to write their birth story, as they remember it.   Because I don't want to wait longer to post anything, and because I don't want the one post to be too long, I have decided to post her birth story in two parts. Please enjoy the first part of Isadora's birth, with the second part coming in the next week or so.
Every birth is a blessed event, whether it is vaginal or cesarean, medicated or unmedicated, boy or girl. No matter how you do it, when you see that tiny human for the first time, you know you just did something special. I heard once that giving birth is as close to godliness as any human ever gets-- women are so blessed have the ability to give life.  My births are no exception; although they could not be more different from each other. Preparing for and ultimately giving birth to each daughter taught me new lessons about myself, specifically my will-power, my strength, and what I am willing to fight for. I also learned new things about my husband, my care providers and my friends and family. As with most skills, laboring and delivering got easier and more enjoyable for me as I gained education and experience. So it should have been no surprise to me that Isadora's birth was jaw-droppingly awesome. I felt like a GODDESS after delivery, having achieved exactly the birth, with the exception of how late she arrived, that I (and my husband) was hoping for.  Maybe karma was paying me back for my patience.  I know very well that it is EXTREMELY rare to feel such tremendous satisfaction and pleasure about a birth, and I feel that much luckier to have this experience to share.
Isadora was due on June 27th. Actually, her name was not chosen until about an hour after she was born, so I will call her Baby for the rest of the story. My pregnancy had been tolerable, no major concerns, and my first two babies came within three days of their due date, so we expected Baby to come within the same time frame. I had heard that third babies can be rather unpredictable in their timing, and that is one "Old Wives Tale" that I am now a believer in. My due date came, and it went. My doula went on her planned trip that we thought would not be an issue because there was "no way" my baby would be more than a week late! I had a non-stress test at my 41 week check-up with the midwives, and everything looked good. I was scheduled to have an ultrasound on Monday, July 7, ten DAYS after my alleged due date. By this point, I was in shock, and had resigned myself to being pregnant forever. Baby and I were good friends, and I was used to having her around. No big deal. My generous sister-in-law, Bridget, who had arrived one week before my due-date to be with the kids during the birth, could just move in. 
Every day that I was still pregnant was another day lived differently than I had expected. It was easy to go to the Fourth-of-July Festival to watch the fireworks because I had NO BABY. My niece was still the youngest baby at her first birthday party, because I had NO BABY. I was able to accompany the rest of my family to see “Wall-E,” because I had NO BABY (great movie, by the way!). When I reached 8 days past-due, I decided that enough was enough. We took advantage of the beautiful weather, and spent half the day at the park, where the girls played and I walked laps. So many laps. Contractions came, and they went. I rejoiced in the bathroom when I saw the telltale bloody mucous that I had been waiting for for SO LONG. So I walked some more!
Around five am on Sunday morning, the 6^th of July, I woke up and went the bathroom (again), and felt a pretty strong contraction. I got back into bed, and assumed my normal position, hugging my giant red pillow, and felt another strong contraction. As I lay there for the next half-hour, I felt a couple more contractions. I decided to get out of bed around 5:40, but I would not let myself believe I was actually in labor yet. I ate a bowl of cereal and watched some Food Network while bouncing on my new birthing ball and breathing though several more contractions. I felt a bit nervous for a moment about the job I realized I had ahead of me, but quickly reminded myself that I was finally going to meet my baby! My kids are usually early-risers, but I was blessed to have about an hour-and-a-half to myself before Sydney woke at around 7am. She was the first to hear that I thought I was in labor, and she was thrilled. She could not wait to go wake Daddy and tell him, but I made her wait until about 7:30. By then Ivy and Auntie Bridget were also awake, and we decided it was time to call the family. My mother-in-law and good friend Janet live in Portland, about 3 hours away, and they left right away to get up to us in time. It was funny to me how surprised everyone was when I announced that I was in labor, even though every time I had called them for the past three weeks they had expected me to be.
My doula, Nicki, arrived around nine, and she, Bryce and I went for a walk to keep the contractions coming, as they were still pretty irregular and 10 or more minutes apart. We got to know a whole new part of our neighborhood as we walked, first with Sydney accompanying us, then by ourselves. I was so thankful to have Bridget here to stay with the girls so Bryce and I could concentrate on enjoying the labor and staying as relaxed as possible. Bryce, Nicki and I ended our walk at the park, where Bridget and the girls met us so they could play. My contractions were still irregular, but closer to ten minutes apart now, and I was feeling tired. I had completely lost track of time, and was shocked to hear that it was already noon. I guess time can fly even when you're in pain! As we walked home so I could take a shower, Janet called, and she took our orders so she could pick us up some lunch.
I was famished when Janet arrived with our sandwiches, and I ate an entire turkey wrap with honey-mustard dressing while sitting on my birth ball, and had several more contractions. That proved to be a bit too much for me to handle, as my stomach felt sore afterwards. I got in the shower for a brief spell, but my contractions became more intense, I got cold, and I wanted to be with Bryce. When I got out of the shower is when things really started to pick up. I was feeling more pain and was beginning to vocalize during contractions. I remember staring with all my might at a spot on the couch as I kneeled on the ground and moaned. Bryce and Nicki did a great job helping me focus and keeping me comfortable as I moved into active labor. My mother-in-law, Bev, arrived at some point during all this, much to the girls great excitement. Nicki called my midwife, who told us to come to the office when I felt like I needed to be there. I had her call again in about an hour to tell her I was ready to go.

Very, very late-breaking news.

If you have looked at my pictures recently, you have probably noticed a new child in some of them. Her presence also explains why I have been so terribly irresponsible recently in my blogging.  That's right, I FINALLY had my third baby girl on July 6, a mere nine days after her due date.  Isadora was born at 5:14 p.m. and weighed in a 8 pounds, 11.5 ounces.   My birth experience was awesome, and I might write a post about it at some point, if there is enough interest.  Just thought you might like to know...

Finding focus.

The use of focal points in labor is an underrated technique for relaxation.  Focal points help center mom and give her the feeling that something safe, stable and consistent is always available, thereby helping her relax.  We have all seen women in the movies directed to close her eyes and find her "happy place" in an attempt to escape the discomfort of contractions, but this is far from the only way to use a focal point to relax.  

If a woman wants to close her eyes, which many do for a good portion of their labor, it is necessary to direct her thoughts to some sort of internal focal point.  She could imagine her cervix opening like a flower, she could try to picture her baby moving down, or she could envision herself climbing a mountain.  If she wants to try to mentally escape, then the "Happy Place" approach can be helpful.  I suggest thinking of the place where she would be most comfortable and use all her senses to "go" there-- What does she see?  What does she smell?  How do her clothes, the air, etc., feel on her skin?  What does she hear?  Partners and support people can help mom relax by asking her these questions as she calms down and finds her rhythm.

Many of us are surprised by how comforting it can feel to keep our eyes open while laboring, facilitating the need for an external focal point.  Moms may naturally choose an object in the room to focus on, in which case it is the partner's job to know where that spot is and make sure it is visible to her during each and every contraction.  If she seems to lose her rhythm, or cannot find something to look at on her own, then it falls on the partner to redirect her to her original point, or try a new one. While she stares intently at her chosen spot, her support people can encourage her to breathe AT the spot and feel all her tension, anxiety and even fear flowing out of her breath and her eyes and into that spot.

Think of a focal point as a visual representation of the finish line for a laboring mom.  She can see the end to the labor in this point, and in the meantime, she can feel it working along with her.  I will never forget the spot I stared at for the last few minutes of my second labor-- it was on my husband's nose.  He could not move out of my sight until right before the baby was born and I closed my eyes.  After my third daughter was born, I had to take a picture of the leaf outside the window that became my "safe place" during her birth.  It amazes me to this day how crucial these points were to my achieving a relatively calm and enjoyable birth experience.