the birthologist

What Not to Watch.

I was listening to my favorite podcast the other day, and the guest was a man who used to work on a couple of popular cable shows that depict birth stories.  You know the ones I am talking about-- many of you probably have these shows, or shows like them, set to record on your DVR right now!  I have always maintained that viewing these shows is a bad habit for pregnant moms, particularly first-timers or experienced moms who have had previous negative experiences.  This male guest, who has firsthand experience with the behind-the-scenes, provided verbal proof of my intuitions.

His wife is pregnant with their first child, so he recently unearthed some old tapes of his shows for her.  As they watched together, he pointed out what was REALLY going on in each scene.  The example he used was so simple, but so demonstrative of why these shows are poisonous for the morale of pregnant women.  He said that when you see a doctor or midwife running down the hallway of the hospital, they are NEVER really running!  It may seem like no big deal at first, but this one trick the producers use exemplifies the goal of these shows-- to sensationalize birth.  To turn every single labor and birth they record into something viewers cannot take their eyes off of.  And who wants to watch a normal, healthy, complication- and intervention-free birth?  According to the ratings, no one does.

I guarantee you, when you speak with your care provider during your labor about a serious subject, no scary music will be playing in the background.  He or she will not pause dramatically before revealing an opinion.  No bright red stopwatch will be placed in your room to count down, with very loud beeps, how long you have been in labor.  It will be nothing like what you see on TV!  Those births may be portrayed as "real," and may even look real, but they are NOT real.  They are produced, edited, and orchestrated 22 minute snippets of what a high-intervention birth might look like. 

My advice to all pregnant women-- stop watching other people's birth stories and start positively visualizing your own.

A Good Childbirth Class is NOT Hard to Find.

Believe it or not, many childbirth class options are available to expectant parents nowadays.  When I was pregnant with my first, I did no research at all before registering for a class.  I simply called the hospital I was delivering at and signed-up for their "package deal."  Fortunately for me, these classes worked well for my husband and I (so well, in fact, that I have been teaching these very same classes for over five years now!).  Not every class is made to suit the needs of every couple, though, and you should be aware of your options before putting your faith in the first program that you are introduced to.
I know what you're thinking, reader--  "It's not fair! I do not live in the Seattle area, so the birthologist cannot be my childbirth class instructor!"  Never fear, I have done some research on your behalf, and I believe that you can find a great class in your area that will not only answer all of your questions about birth, but will leave you feeling empowered and ready to take-on the awesome challenge that is childbirth.
The best place to start when looking for a class, whether you are looking for a class for new or experienced parents, is the location you are choosing to deliver.  If you are delivering at a hospital, chances are, a "Birth Basics" series is available that will educate you on the basics of childbirth in general, as well as the specifics of what you can expect at that place of delivery.  If you are delivering at a free-standing birth center or at home, your group of midwives likely has a similar series they recommend, that is aimed more at an unmedicated birth because the majority of the couples attending the class are delivering where medication is not available.  These classes are almost always available to anyone who is interested, not just to current patients, so feel free to research all your local hospitals and birth centers before registering for one series. If you have the time to call the program coordinator to ask for a more specific class overview, who the instructors are (and who certified them), and what the program philosophy is, you are more likely to find a class that feels right for you.  While it can be helpful to take the class provided by your hospital or birth center in order to get a well-rounded idea of what to expect during delivery at that location, by no means are you bound to do so.  For many couples, taking a basic series is sufficient, with no supplementation necessary.  If that is you, you can stop reading now!
If you need to be more prepared, specifically if you have a lot of anxiety about the birth and/or you are planning on an unmedicated birth, I have three more resources for you to look into.  The Bradley Method is aimed at a husband-coached, natural childbirth.  To find a Bradley certified instructor in your area, you can visit www.bradleybirth.com.  
Hypnobirthing is another popular option, which involves relaxation through self-hypnosis.  Multiple hypnobirthing options are available; a good place to start is www.hypnobirthing.com.
Finally, you can look into good, old Lamaze classes.  Ask your parents-- if they took a class while pregnant with you, chances are good it was a Lamaze class!  Lamaze is a childbirth method involving specific breathing patterns, relaxation and continuous support, that was introduced in the 1950's.   You can find more information at www.lamaze.org.
As an educator, my goal is always to answer all of my clients' questions, and to leave them feeling ready to jump into the great unknown of childbearing.  If you have attended a class, and still feel unprepared, please realize that you are not alone.  We all feel anxious about giving birth, no matter how educated we are or how many times we've done it.  The best you can do is to continue asking questions-- of your care provider, your childbirth educator, your nurse, even me-- all the way through the rest of your pregnancy and your labor.